Shinigami in the basement
by wayofthepen
Summary: Learning you have spiritual powers, very cool. Having to fix up your spare room so random death gods have a place to crash, that's fine. But cleaning up after the 11th squad and trying not to get eaten by hollows, that's no fun at all.
1. Introduction

"Damn, damn, damn."

I continued to mutter to myself as I stomped up the stairs from the basement.

"Eleventh squad morons...always making a damn mess..."

I sat down on front of the TV, guzzling the soda in my hand, finally able to rest after cleaning up the downstairs. Eleventh squad always made a ruckus. At least this time, the prettyboy fifth-seat had been there to keep a lid on things. Weird as he was, he was probably the only tidy one in the bunch.

Oop, maybe I ought to explain. I'm a student, living alone, and when I'm not dealing with the troubles of **this **world, I'm wrapped up in the troubles of the **other **one.

'Cause I've got Shinigami in my basement.

Not on a permanent basis, mind you. They just camp out down there when they're around town and need a place to crash, usually after a fight, or when a group of academy students are sent live side for a training session.

Okay, maybe I should start from the very beginning. One day, walking home, an abandoned building comes crashing down when I'm walking by. No big deal, right? Wrong. It's fuzzy as hell, but I can see something **huge **stomping around through the smoke, and several smaller fuzzy things running around it. I ask the guy next to me, but he doesn't see anything, and doesn't seem to hear anything when it lets out a roar. So, thinking it's just a serious lack of sleep, I _almost _turn and walk away when the smaller blobs start to move past me. Mind you, obliging insanity isn't on my to do list, but neither is ignoring something that's staring at me right in my face. So I follow them for a minute, trying to focus on them and failing miserably. As soon as I turn a corner and no-ones around, I walk up to the lead blob and swing my arm at it. You can imagine my surprise when I hit something solid. Turns out to be Madarame Ikkaku, 3rd officer in the eleventh squad of the Gotei-13. After a very strange conversation in my living room, and getting a bit of extra Reiatsu transfered into me to help me see them better, the shinigami of the 11th squad, combat specialists, went and crashed in my basement after a long, hard day of killing hollows. Weird, huh?

Since for whatever reason, I had more spiritual potential in me than the average human, and my contact with the shinigami was awakening it further, I was now 'on the radar' so to speak, when it came to hollows. Apparently, they like to eat the souls of people like me. Swell. So, I made a deal with them. They would show me how to develop and use my power to defend myself, and in exchange, whenever any shinigami that were in the city needed a place to rest, they just knocked on my door, and anyone passing by would see me open my door, say hi to empty air, stand aside for a few moments, then close the door.

Follow me so far? Good.

Before I can get to bed, the doorbell rings. Not the regular doorbell, the one the shinigami had installed that only they or someone with a lot of spiritual power can see and touch. So I tromp downstairs, open the door, and in an instant a ball of energy is formed and almost on it's way before I look past the skull motif and see the robes of a death god.

"Sorry. Though you were a hollow for a sec. Hey, cute hat."

The man only sneers at me and brushes past, the kanji for '12' on the back of a white coat. A girl, damn cute, follows behind, another '12' on an armband she's wearing. She bows and thanks me for my hospitality before an irate voice tells her to stop dawdling and hurry up. I bow and smile to her in turn before finally heading upstairs for some well-earned sleep. If I recall correctly, 12th squad was the research division. Even with the extra soundproofing I had put in when I had the basement refurbished, I don't really care what division is downstairs, just as long as they're quiet.

Tomorrow is a school day after all.

* * *

To those it may concern, while the first chapter does feel kinda one-shotty if you want to stop reading here, I feel I can have alot of fun with this. It will be a semi OC/self-inself/drabbly...thingy. Basically, it will follow the bleach storyline, but will be only connected by reference to the main storyline, more or less my own little corner of the bleach universe. 


	2. intro, part 2

"SONOFA-!"

I twist in mid-air, dodging a swung sickle-limb that would've cut me in half. I'm on the defensive now, losing ground to the _thing _in front of me. So focused on avoiding the frenzied creature in front of me, I fail to notice the smaller shape approaching from behind.

"What is this?"

"WAHHH!"

The creature roars and dives forward, jaws wide.

**GAME OVER**

I nearly fall out of my chair. I turn to look up at the girl leaning over my shoulder, studying the TV screen in front of her.

"It's a video game. You've never seen one?"

"No. What's it for?"

"Err...it's a sort of combat simulation. Wanna try?"

"Perhaps later. Do you have any tea?"

"Of course."

I show her to the cupboard and the stock I have. With the shinigami coming and going, I keep a little bit extra of the essentials on hand. She picks out a flavor and looks around, staring at the stove controls.

"Here, I have an automatic kettle. Don't you have any technology on the other side?"

"Not besides the equipment used in the research division. We don't have the infrastructure to support widespread use of anything so high-maintenance. A few computers and communication devices are almost all we have."

I can't help but stare at her after handing her some cups. She's cute. No, scratch that. She's sexy. Nah. She's got this sort of...quiet beauty to her. Yeah. That fits. She catches me and gives me a look out of the corner of her eye that tells me very politely and very firmly that it's not polite to stare. I grin and apologize, half-turning away as she arranges the cups on a tray.

"May I ask what you're researching here?"

"We are searching for a hollow that has appeared in this city."

"But wouldn't the eleventh or another division handle something like that?"

"Normally, yes. But this hollow has demonstrated rather...unusual abilities that demand study."

"Like what?"

"We don't know."

"Hmm?"

"It seems to almost be performing experiments on humans with high levels of spiritual energy, but what it is trying to accomplish is still unknown. So far, we have only been able to analyze it's...failed attempts. "

"Ugh. Well, good luck with that. Oh, before I forget, don't forget the rent."

"Rent?"

"My one condition for letting shinigami stay here. The guys from the eleventh have been giving me combat training, for example. But what I could really use is some help with my reiatsu."

"I'll inform Mayuri-sama of your request."

"Thanks, it'd be a big help."

* * *

"He expects WHAT?" 

"He said it was his one condition-"

"I don't care! I have better things to do with my time!"

"Alone, I would be more than sufficient to-"

"Quiet! You have work to do! Like capturing that hollow for study! It's not just going to walk up and present itself...to...me..."

He trailed off, staring into space. He grinned to himself and reached for his tea, taking a sip while digging into to memories, to the first moment he met the annoying human that owned this house.

"Mayuri-sama?"

"Ohhhhh...Nemu-chan...I want you to give him all the training he wants. Right now."

"Of...Of course, Mayuri-sama."

"Oh, and Nemu?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure you keep your own reiatsu hidden while doing so."

A tiny flicker in her eyes was the only sign of emotion as she paused in the doorway.

"I understand, Mayuri-sama."

* * *

People stare, but I don't care, 'cause I got Nemu next to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm doing my very best not to laugh, giggle, skip, or otherwise make a fool of myself. We're heading for a small park a short distance away, people staring at the man grinning like an idiot and glancing to his side as if someone was there. Nemu (god I LOVE that name) tells me the equipment Mayuri is using to scan for hollows is very sensitive to reiatsu, so we need to get some distance away so I won't jam the airwaves, or something like that. 

"No, you must gather the energy uniformly, all at once."

"Erg..."

I'm holding a small sphere of glowing energy in my hands. It's pulsing and shaking, little pieces flaking off. I pull the energy back in, take a deep breath, and push it out again. The entire ball crumbles completely this time, pieces falling to the ground and fading like dying fireflies.

"Damn!"

"You have sufficient power to manifest it, but you lack the necessary control. Try this: In your mind, imagine a circle, dark and heavy, completely empty. Then, pour yourself into that circle and fill it with your reiatsu, but keep the form and shape of it clear in your mind."

"Alright..."

I focus as she tells me, picturing a void between my outstretched hands. I get pins and needles in my fingertips as I feel the reiatsu peel back and away, the flesh suddenly going numb and heavy. I reverse and pour the energy forward, a ball forming that's bigger and brighter than anything I've ever managed before.

"I get it now...It's like the reflex to pull your arm back after a punch...but in reverse. Pulling your reiatsu away makes it tense and it floods back when you release it."

I release it and call it right back up. Breathe in, pull it in, breathe out, push it out.

"It's so simple! What's next? Nemu-san?"

Looking up, she's gone. I close my eyes and reach out, trying to find her reiatsu. It was one thing Ikkaku worked particularly hard to drill into me, while muttering something about cosmic balance. I can't sense her, but I can sense something else. Behind!

"What have we here?"

I turn at the voice to see a hollow not twenty feet away, wrapped around a tree and leering at me, a cross between a snake and a crab.

"Well, shit."

My hands are already pressed together, fear pulling out reiatsu I didn't know I had. The hollow merely wriggles and starts laughing.

"Superb! A fine specimen! You'll do nicely. Come here, little human!"

A blast of reiatsu is my answer. The hollow pulls it head out of the way of the incoming sphere, unwrapping itself and slithering away, fast for a creature of it's size. It disappears in the leaves of another tree, a mocking laugh coming from everywhere at once.

"A fine catch, a fine catch!"

"You...are in such deep shit!"

"Oh?"

"I've been taking lesson from the shinigami! Think you can take me before they track your ass down?"

"Well, in that case..."

I wasn't kidding when I said Ikkaku worked hard to sharpen my ability to sense reiatsu, and it saved my life when I felt a surge behind me. A ridiculously long arm burst out of the leaves and reached out for me, and I crammed as much energy as I could into my hands. His next words were cut short by a scream of pain as I dodged to the side and lashed out at the back of his hand. It practically exploded, and what was left of it was quickly pulled away and out of sight.

"You'll do what, ya little bastard?"

My first fight. My first REAL fight. I was afraid, excited, downright twitchy. It was horrifying, it was exhilarating, and I wanted more. I stood there, shaking, breathing hard, looking for the next attack. Forget video games, the sensation was incredible. Now I know why the eleventh squad loves combat so much.

"I...will...ENJOY TEARING YOUR BODY APART! I will devour your worthless soul and cram it back in to a shape that will be far more fitting for you!

"Ohhhh...is that what you do? Fascinating. Trying to give a hollow a physical body? But whatever would you want one for?"

"Who's there?"

"First dream, the sleeping dragon! Iron wrought from red scales!"

I heard the hollow scream and it drops from the trees, slamming into the ground. Red bands have materialized around it, constricting it's movements.

"Second dream, the sleeping toad! Mist obscures the enlightened path!"

I saw what looked like mist condense like a hood around the hollow's head, and felt it's reiatsu completely vanish, suppressed by Mayuri's binding spell. He walked up to the hollow, completely nonchalant, and leaned over it with a disturbing grin on his face.

"Final dream, the troubled sleeper, who cannot awake from his nightmares!"

The hollow tried to shake free as the bands grew, until they covered it's entire body and held it completely still. Mayuri laughed in outright glee, tracing his fingertips over the patterns on the hollow's mask.

"Are you alright?"

Nemu had appeared next to me, her face impassive, a slight tilt of her eyes the only hint of emotion, a minute expression of concern.

"I'm...fine. What happened to you? I thought the hollow had grabbed you for a second."

A shake of her head was the only answer before she walked to Mayuri's side and he began barking orders to her. After a few moments, to be sure the hollow really couldn't make a move, I approached it as well.

"Is this what you were looking for?"

He was ignoring me, tapping his fingers together and staring at the bound form in front of him. Coming down from the adrenaline rush, I was too tired to complain.

"Guess I'm going home, then."

As I walked away, I heard a chuckle from behind and turned to see Mayuri waving goodbye without even looking back at me.

"Soul Society thanks you for your assistance in this matter." He said at last, turning just enough to let me see the look in his eyes.

"Huh?" It finally clicked. "You used me as BAIT!"

"Stupid child, of course I did. I knew it wouldn't pass up such a chance."

"Son of a-"

Nemu suddenly appeared before me, reiatsu rolling off of her in waves that made my face feel like I was staring down a blast furnace. I could barely stand, let alone shift my reiatsu to a more defensive form. As Mayuri laughed and turned away, I glared at her, and she returned the look with an impassive face, shaking her head in a silent 'no' but her eyes...her eyes held a tiny apology in them. It was all I could do just to let myself drop to the ground and catch my breath. Nemu relaxed her reiatsu, turning away to rejoin her captain.

Just as I rose to leave, I heard a shout and saw the hollow snapping free of the binding spell. It rose into the air and a hole formed in the air, an inky black mass. A second before the hollow reached it, a line appeared down it's middle and the hollow split apart, dissolving. Below, Mayuri was screeching in rage, and reiatsu that made Nemu's seem relaxing in comparison made my insides twist. It felt like someone stuck a blender in my gut, set to mince. A second later, a cold breeze washed his reiatsu away, and a man was standing next to me wearing the white coat of a captain, with the kanji for 'five.'

"Aizen...you just..."

"I came for an update on your search, and it seems I arrived just in time."

"I had everything in hand! I had orders to capture that hollow!"

"My apologies. But that hollow had seriously injured several men in my squad, and I could hardly allow it to escape, given this hollow's talent for evasion. I will take full responsibility for my decision."

Under the protection of the other captain's reiatsu, I could see the ripples in the air as the two men's reiatsu slammed and twisted around each other. Standing, I couldn't help but smirk at the look on skull-boy's face.

"Well, at least there's that."

"You can see us?" He turned to me, a look of pleasant surprise on his face. If his reiatsu was any indication of his personality, he was someone I'd much rather have as a tenant.

"Of course!" I wiped some of the dirt off my pants, completely relaxed and refreshed inside his aura. "Oh, I guess you wouldn't know me. Mainly it's been eleventh squad stopping by my house."

"Stopping by? Contact with humans is a serious breach of protocol."

"Is it? Well, I contacted them, not the other way around..."

I trailed off. We both looked to see Mayuri, temporarily forgotten, grinding his teeth and making strangling gestures with his hands. We looked back at each other and shared a grin. Mayuri growled in frustration and stormed off, viciously slashing at the air with his sword and stepping through the door that appeared, Nemu offering a nod to us both as she followed him.

* * *

After a quick chat with Aizen-sama, I was back home, sprawled out on my bed, feeling absolutely wasted after the soothing effect of his reiatsu wore off. He had asked for a quick report on how I met the shinigami and how much I knew about them while he escorted me home, going so far as to put up a barrier for me that would mask the presence of anyone inside my home so I wouldn't attract hollows. Now at least I don't have to worry about getting attacked in my sleep. 

At least all of this happened on a Friday. I swear, I'm sleeping in till noon, at least.


	3. act 2, scene 1

The couple approached as I sat next to the roadside shrine. Both were wearing the colors of mourning. The woman cluctched a small stuffed animal to her chest, dried tears marking her face, the man supporting her and carring fresh flowers in his free hand. As they approached, I stood, my back to them, bowing to the floating form that only I could see.

"Is that them?"

"Yep! That's my mom and dad."

I waited until they set the offerings down before turning to them, a plain black mask concealing my face. The pair startled and the man jumped in front of his wife as I reached inside my coat, pulling out a folded piece of paper. I held it out wordlessly, and as soon as he took it, I bowed and turned away. Behind me, I could hear them murmuring to each other, and the crinkle of paper as it was unfolded. The moment of silence as it was read, and the gasp that preceeded the tears.

* * *

"Ghost Writer appears again!" 

That was this morning's headline. God, I HATE the name, but I need all the good karma I can get. Ok, time for another explanation. Once, while at school, I saw a ghost hanging over a young student who looked terribly depressed. After talking with a few classmates, I find out that the girl's father died while away on a business trip, and said dad was still hanging around. So, in a moment of brilliance, I offer to help him write a letter to his daughter, giving him the chance to say the things that he was never able to. I deliver it anonymously, and the girl is bawling her eyes out five minutes later over the letter that 'miraculously' appeared in her locker that has a final goodbye in it and things that only her dead father could possibly know. Word spread so fast, even a crew with the local news stopped by the school to interview her. That should have been the end of it, right? The odd miracle, nothing special, right? RIGHT? Nope.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

A day after the clip airs, I go to school to find a few dozen ghosts floating around. The second I let on that I can see them, I'm spending my lunch hour taking dictation from some very restless dead. Then I spend all afternoon getting pulled around town to the people I can't simply mail their letters to, wearing a somber-yet-stylish long coat I got from a costume store, and a theatrical mask, painted black to conceal my identity. Two days and a dozen people later, the media is going crazy about the 'ghost writer' who delivers letters FROM THE BEYOND!

Joy. Now if my classmates would just shut up about it. The supernatural seems to be quite the fad lately, I'm not sure why. But I find out, nearly choking to death on my sandwich in the process as a man with no fashion sense and a dozen cameras following behind bursts into the cafiteria. He jumps onto the nearest table, crossing his arms over his chest and pausing dramatically for a moment before he starts screaming his lungs out.

"SPIRITS...ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


	4. act 2, scene 2

"SPIRITS...ARE ALWAYS...WITH YOU! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Time seemed to freeze for a moment. And then, everyone in the cafeteria stood up, crossed their arms over their chests, and 'BWHAHAHAHAHA'ed' right back at the strange man. Merciful Buddha on a pogo stick…

"Greetings students and loyal watchers! I, the charismatic spirit medium for the new century, Don Ka'nonji, have come to your school to film the first segment of a special episode of Ghost Bust!"

He pulled something out from his cloak and unrolled it. I nearly choked for the second time. It was a picture, blown up to poster size of a man in a long, modern coat and a black mask.

"All about the _mysterious _Ghost Writer!"

Damn, I was certain I had avoided getting my picture taken. Meanwhile, the crowd oooh'ed and awww'ed.

"You may be wondering…why here? Why this school? True, it was the first place reported to have been visited by our mystery mailman…but that's not all! After much thought and communion with the good spirits, I realized it!"

He jumped down from the table and began pacing back and forth, posing every few steps as if in deep thought, the cameras and crowd following his every move.

"Every letter was delivered by hand or by mail…but the first letter was found inside a locker! And since no-one saw the Ghost Writer on the premises…" He turned to the crowd as if questioning them, and several people began to murmur to each other, shaking their heads. "Then that means he must have delivered it without wearing his mask! And since a strange adult would stand out on school grounds…the writer must be a young man!"

He wasn't as stupid as he dressed, apparently.

"Perhaps…even a student of this school!"

Oh, crap.

* * *

The rest of the school day progressed normally, more or less. The principal had burst into the cafeteria, but BWAHA-ah, crap, I've got that damn sound stuck in my head now. Other than the camera crew following Don Ka…kano…kanny-boy? Whatever around, and the students paying even less attention than normal to the teachers, it was an average, boring day. And I was more then happy when it was over. Stuffing my books inside my locker, I closed it and turned to get a facefull of Don Ka-whatever. 

"_Hello, _young man! Are you excited about the _mysterious _happenings of late?"

"Uhh, yeah! I mean, letters from beyond? C'mon! I thought it was a hoax at first, but lately…"

"Yes! The truth of the supernatural shall enlighten those willing to open their hearts!"

He leaned over slightly, a slight bow, the cameraman behind him shifting to get a better angle of the two of us.

"If I may ask…I have heard that your parents died in an accident not long ago. Are you looking forward to receiving a letter from the ghost writer one day?"

_Son of a B-dragging that out onto TV!_

"Yes. A car accident. Thank you for the reminder."

I turned and stomped away, but the man quickly ran ahead of me and bowed low to the floor.

"A hundred humble apologies, truly. I did not mean to bring up such unpleasant memories."

"…Yeah. Well…I'd be nice to get a letter from them, I suppose…but I was on pretty good terms with my parents, but that girl who got the first letter, I hear she didn't see much of her father. The ghost writer should be spending his time on people like that."

The man jumped off the floor and bowed again, opening his mouth but interrupted by a motion from the cameraman. He quickly turned to the camera, posing with one arm in the air.

"That's our time for this day's episode, stay turned as we continue our search! And remember! SPIRITS…ARE ALWAYS… WITH YOU! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The actor and his flunkies fell into a discussion, and I took the time to escape. Outside, a child was standing by the gate, a broken chain attached to his chest.

"E-excuse me…are you…"

I can't resist children. Death is crappy enough, but dying so young…seems just…_wrong, _somehow.

"Yeah, I'm the ghost writer. Come on, we can talk at my house."

The child and I wandered home together, focusing my reiatsu so I could physically hold his hand, and unaware that there was someone else who could see the child as well.

* * *

I like motorcycles. Sure, they can't carry stuff like a car can, or keep you warm in the winter, but considering my lifestyle, it's a good fit. Which is why I'm roaring down the freeway, mask and coat in my backpack, heading for the suburbs, ghost kid sitting in my lap and I'm holding onto his chain so it doesn't get caught in anything. I slowly drive past the apartment the child points out, feeling the weight of a letter, scrawled farewells in crayon, cold and solid against my leg. I park in the garage, taking my backpack with me and slipping the mask and coat on somewhere I'm sure no one can see me. 

Climbing the stairs, I pass a man and his child carrying groceries. They jump at the sight of me, and I offer a silent nod as I pass, the ghost next to me waving to his friend. When she doesn't respond, I feel a tug on my coat and stop, listening a moment before turning back to them.

"Akina?"

"Y-yes?"

"Kintaro says it's okay to keep that ball of his… the one with the flowers on it that you like."

The girl's eyes open wide, tears forming on the edges as I turn and continue on my way.

* * *

I find the apartment easily enough, flowers and gifts piled by the door. The child runs past me and through the door, poking his head back out and waving me over frantically. I get to the door just as it opens, a young woman stopping in shock as she stares at me. Silently, I pull the letter from my coat and hand it to her, the ghost at her side looking up at her with a sad smile on his face as she takes it with shaking hands. Fumbling it open, she falls against the doorframe, sliding down to her knees. A man, her husband I assume, comes running and stares at the sight of me, walking to his wife's side and wrapping his arms around her. I take that as my cue to bow and leave.

* * *

Three flights of stairs down, and I'm blinded for a moment as a man jumps out and a bright light is shined my way. Raising my arm to shield my eyes, a familiar, and horrible, voice reaches my ears. 

"For the first time on camera, the one and only-hey! Wait a moment!"

I'm already running.

* * *

"Shunpo? What's that?" 

"It's a specialized death god ability."

A few weeks back, I'm standing with Yumichika and a few of the other numbskulls from the eleventh division in my backyard, getting my 'rent' out of them.

"Here, watch."

He lifts his foot to take a step, and he flickers out of sight, reappearing several meters away.

"Awesome!"

"It's something only death gods can do, but with a little practice, I'm sure you can do something like it. Here, you focus your reiatsu like this…"

An hour of practice later, I'm limping into a hospital with dislocated toes and a broken nose when I shunpo'ed myself into a brick wall.

* * *

I'm so glad I got that practice with Nemu… 

_Nemu…_

I shake my head clear and focus. I've got an overzealous camera crew coming up behind me fast and my only escape is off a seventh-story ledge onto a rooftop a dozen meters away. I step back. I step back again. I jump up and down and loosen my legs, and I'm glad the cameras aren't here because I look _really _stupid right now. I jump up to the ledge, and then I _jump._

"Where? Where did he? There!"

The last look they get of me is a masked figure standing silently on a distant rooftop, turning and walking calmly down the other building's fire escape.

* * *

"Ow ow ow ow ow crap crap crappityyyyyy…" 

"Nothing looks broken, but you really should stop pushing yourself so hard during training."

"You know what they say, doc, no pain, no-erggggggg!"

I really need to work on my landings.


	5. act 2, scene 3

I find it hard to believe he just up and picked me out of the crowd and decided to follow me around. I don't know how Don-baka knew where I was going, but I'm not letting him sneak up on me again. I have enough to worry about without becoming the star attraction in a three-ring media circus.

Still, I think I've finally gotten the hang of shunpo. I just have to wrap myself in a bubble of reiatsu and will it off in a certain direction, and I get carried along with it. It's rough as all hell, and takes a good minute to set up, but it works. I can even levitate with it, which is what I'm doing right now, floating a couple feet above my bed like something from the _Exorcist._ At least there's that.

Before I tuck myself in, I crane my neck, half expecting death at my door. Late evening is usually when they show up, and it's been almost two weeks since anyone stopped by, which is a little odd.

Though the feeling something isn't right is quickly steamrolled by the peace and quiet, and I'm soon fast asleep.

* * *

I'm halfway home from a Don-free school day when a howl reaches my ears. I quicken my pace at a second howl, but stop at the third. 

_Why am I running? This thing is a weakling compared to that other one…_

I turn around and flex my hands. A grin spreads across my face. I can feel the hollow; it's not very far. A quick run, and I can see the thing running through a park, chasing a ghost, most likely. I take a look around, and press my hands together like I'm praying.

_The shinigami is quicker then the eye…_

"WHOOOAAAAHOOOOOO!"

There are better battle-cries, but that worked fine. The hollow stops and turns as my reiatsu flares, the ghost forgotten. I land neatly in front of it and stare it down, twitching from adrenaline.

"COME ON!"

I don't care in anyone's around to hear this. I could be on the six o'clock news for all I care right now. All I see is the hollow in front of me. An ugly gray brute, dragging it's knuckles in the dirt. It screams and opens it's jaws wide, running clumsily towards me.

* * *

"Now remember, the most basic principal in fighting hollows is to strike the back of the skull." 

"Why there?"

Ikkaku sighs and takes another sip of the sake I bought for him as a gift after our first training session together.

"Because…all hollows were once humans."

"What?"

"Yeah. The body is changed, but the face…the face is still the same, under the mask. If you ever get in a fight with one, you have to remember that whoever it was before, it's a hollow now. When you 'kill' it, if it was a good soul, it'll get sent up to soul society, and if the soul was evil in life, then it gets sent to hell, where it can't hurt anyone else."

"Damn…"

"Ahh…relax. Either way, you're doing the right thing. But trust me, it's better to just avoid the issue entirely. I've seen more then one young shinigami hesitate at the worst possible moment because they broke the mask and suddenly start feeling like they're murdering someone."

* * *

I realize with a chuckle as the hollow charges, it would have been a lot simpler to simply blast the thing while it wasn't looking. But nooooooo…stupid me, the first chance I get I have to go charging forward 'cause I'm a big bad chibi-shinigami. 

The hollow closes with me, raising oversized fists into the air. I shunpo straight up and over it, twisting around and firing an oversized blast that completely obliterates the thing's head and leaves a sizeable crater in the dirt. The body dissolves, and I watch it go with a smile.

I'm a big, bad, chibi-shinigami, and even if I **am** an idiot, I get the job done.

Several more loud screams take the smile off my face, and drawn by my overused reiatsu, a dozen more hollows appear, emotionless masks still able to convey a single feeling – hunger.

Correct that. I'm a ferociously stupid dai-baka who is about to get some sense beaten into me.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit, shiiiii-TA!" 

I strike and another hollow vanishes, another immediately taking it's place and charging forward. I duck and roll forward under the swipe, coming close enough to reach out and touch it. I point straight up, and a beam of reiatsu neatly decapitates it. The body falls, and I see the rest of the group circling me.

Four down. Ten to go. This isn't quite so fun anymore. Where's eleventh squad when you need them?

"Golden kanonball!"

"Huh?"

I watch as a little green ball floats lazily up to a hollow. It turns just in time to catch it in the face and the explosion makes a mess of it's head, the body dropping and dissolving.

"I am here to assist you, fellow _hero of justice_!"

"?"

He leaps into sight, striking a pose that would make a power ranger ill. I stare at him. The hollows stare at him. He stares back.

"…NOW!"

He jumps, or rather prances towards one group of hollows, tossing more little balls around, the slow-moving things easily avoided. I take the opportunity and snipe two distracted hollows before two more close in and I have to move to avoid being shredded. It's all I can do to concentrate on my own battle, and when the fight blurs past and I realize there's nothing else trying to take my head off, I drop to the ground, gasping for breath.

"T…that was…_marvelous! _A true testament to our _fighting spirit!"_

"Just…shut up…please…"

As I look, a camera crew comes running up, and Kanon'ji promptly runs to them, yelling and waving his arms. It's all I can do to begin crawling away while he's distracted, falling inside a lucky cab.

"And now, for what you've been waiting for! The…huh? Where did you go? Ghost writer?"

* * *

Meditation is good. Meditation is great. Morphine, however, is a whole 'nother story. The doctors are shaking their heads at the folly of youth as I lay sprawled out on the clinics' cot. I've got some cracked ribs, deep tissue bruising and some nasty cuts. 

But that's **nothing** compared to getting saved by Don-whatever.

That's just pathetic.

But that's ok. Really! I'm going to use my head this time. I've got a plan. I've studied my foe, learned his weakness, and with much thought and the help of a handy copy of _The art of war_, I'll finally be rid of him. Granted, a part of me was hoping for some big, climatic showdown, but I've learned my lesson. Actually, I'm just too damn tired for anything else.

* * *

I'm ready. I had sat down last night and watched the latest episode of 'ghost bust' to see myself and Don-chan bouncing around the park, trees falling over and dirt flying everywhere. Luckily, my face is too blurry to recognize when it's visible. My last letter, from the same ghost I saved in the park, sits in my hand along with a duplicate mask like the one I wear while delivering the letters. Time to do this. 

"Kanon'ji-san?"

"Huh? _OH!"_

He _bounces _over to me, the camera crew off in the distance.

"I've been thinking. Maybe I've been going about this the wrong way."

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"People need…inspiration. I shouldn't act so mysterious. Before I could see ghosts, death was a terrifying unknown to me. I want to share this knowledge with the world."

"I agree! That is the reason I sought out mass-media! To spread my message to the world as well!"

_Bullshit._

"Yeah! That could work! I could work with you…"

"_Marvelous! _We would be an _incredible hero combo!"_

"Or maybe even…get my own TV show!"

Don froze with his mouth open and a finger pointing at the sky as my words sank into his over-primped head.

"Who knows? Maybe one day it'll be as popular as ghost bust! I can see it now…the peace I will bring to the world…the happiness…_the ratings_…"

"Perhaps…perhaps that is _not _a good idea."

"Oh?"

"If…we do that…if the ordinary man learns the truth of the _bad spirits…_it would be panic! Yes! Man was not meant for such sudden revelations, yes! It must be slow, gradual…"

"Oh…I see…I guess I'm just not meant for the spotlight."

He placed a hand on my shoulder and the most ridiculous excuse for a sympathetic expression on his face as he leaned forward.

"Do not be saddened. This is a demanding path that I walk, a path that not all men can follow."

I nod solemnly before starting to turn away.

"Oh, wait! For the help you gave me in the park…"

_Which mainly consisted of running around screaming…_

"I should at least give a proper ending to your show, right?"

I reach inside my coat and pull out the duplicate mask I made, offering it to him.

"What is this?"

"I'm going to take a break from ghost writing. But you can't let your loyal viewers down, can you? The mystery of the ghost writer must have _some _kind of ending, right?"

"_Ooooohhhhhh!"_

* * *

"My loyal viewers…I come to you with a message from the ghost writer…" 

He finally removed that ridiculous hat as he bowed before the camera, filming the final segment of this nightmare. He lifted the black mask I gave him into view.

"After he delivered one last letter just this morning, I approached the ghost writer. He said to me, 'My burden is lifted, my task is complete' and with that, he vanished, leaving only his mask behind. Who or what was he? Will this mystery ever be answered? Or has the secret disappeared along with him? We may never know the truth, only that he brought peace and happiness to those who suffered the loss of loved ones…"

The crowd oooh'ed and awww'ed almost on cue.

"So until next time, remember-"

I turned the TV off and flopped back onto my sofa. My chance to relax lasted all of two seconds before I was practically lifted up by a huge wave of reiatsu washing over me. Closing my eyes, I could sense two, no four, wait…maybe ten? No…there were too many to shinigami to pick out individuals. Their reiatsu was on full blast and they were moving fast. Moving this way.

I was at the door in an instant, poking my head out to look.

"Hey!"

"Ikkaku-san?"

He was at the door and looking back over his shoulder, and I felt the mass of shinigami all around me.

"We're friends, right?"

"Huh?"

"Hey! You bastard!"

A big shinigami that I didn't recognize shunpo'ed right into Ikkaku's face and grabbed him by the collar.

"**I **volunteered for patrol duty in this town-"

"Hell no!"

He was joined by another shinigami, voicing an opinion of his own. And another, and another, and so on until there were about twenty of them in my driveway. I could pick out at least two vice-captain armbands and one white coat right away.

"What the hell?"

The second I spoke, _every single shinigami _turned to face me.

_Crap._


	6. act 3, scene 1

"Yamamoto Genryuusai-dono!"

"What is it?"

Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni, supreme commander of the Gotei-13, looked up from his tea to see the flustered face of his vice-captain as he ran forward and bowed hastily.

"Well…I…"

"Hmm?"

"To be honest sir, I'm…not sure."

The lieutenant placed a stack of papers on the desk in front of his captain and stepped back respectfully.

"What are these?"

"Forms, sir. Volunteer forms for patrol work in the living world."

Yamamoto burst out laughing. Those forms hadn't seen the light of day in almost three hundred years. No one **ever **volunteered for earth duty. Patrol work was dangerous, messy, and simply uncomfortable. You couldn't just hop back to soul society at night if you couldn't find yourself a bed. You had to scrounge for food, or sometimes steal it. (It was discouraged, but not uncommon.) The laugh slowly died as he picked up one of the forms. It had been filled out perfectly. So had the next one, and the next…

"In addition, the forms all list the same city."

"The same city…who was last assigned to the city in question?"

"The last shinigami _assigned _was Madamare Ikkaku, 3rd seat of eleventh division. After that, several high-seated eleventh division members all _volunteered_ for patrol duty in the same city. Then, just this morning, all these forms were submitted simultaneously."

"How strange…"

A loud knocking interrupted his thoughts. Soi Fon-taichou was already halfway to his desk by the time he bade her to enter.

"Commander. My vice-captain, 3rd, 6th and 8th seat have suddenly traveled to the living world. Is there an operation I'm not aware of?"

"Not that I-"

Another knock.

"Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"Sir, my vice captain has-"

"Disappeared?"

"Yes…how did you know?"

A quiet, gentle knock.

"Excuse me, but-"

"Ise-fukataichou? Who's missing?"

"Huh? Kyouraku-taichou…but how did you know?"

A light knocking, followed by a cough.

"Ukitake-taichou? You as well?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shinigami are traveling to the human world en masse. Is someone missing from your squad?"

"Y-yes. My 3rd seats..."

No knock this time, just an unmistakable crash of bloodthirsty reiatsu.

"Who's missing?"

Zaraki's visible eye widened at the question, which was spoken simultaneously by every shinigami in the room.

"Err…pretty much all of 'em."

The room went dead silent as everyone simply stared at each other in confusion. Yamamoto directed them to the stack of papers on his desk, and the shinigami present sorted through them to find the names of their missing subordinates. Yamamoto took the opportunity to finish his tea before standing and addressing them.

"Fukataichou, Hitsugaya-taichou, Soi Fon-taichou, Ise-fukataichou!"

"Sir!"

"Proceed immediately to the living world! Locate these shinigami and find out what is happening."

"Sir!"

They bowed and dashed off, leaving Ukitake and Zaraki to shrug at each other before leaving to their daily duties. Yamamoto sat back down as the room emptied, refilling his teacup. Just what was going on down there?

* * *

_Everyone's staring at me…_

"Umm…Ikkaku…what's going on?"

"Don't know."

He shoved the other shinigami off and straightened his clothes before turning to address the mob.

"Because **I **filled out the **official **volunteer form before coming."

"Eh? So did I!"

Everyone else present quickly echoed the sentiment.

"Now now…" A beautiful shinigami with substantial cleavage showing pushed her way through the mob. "I think we all know why we volunteered for this particular town. Since it's his house, maybe we should let him decide, hmm?" She finished by crossing her arms in a practiced motioned that made her cleavage stand out even more.

"Not a chance!"

"Oh? Why not?"

"You've got breasts!" The large, rather ugly man stomped towards her and jabbed a finger at the offending mammaries. "That's an unfair advantage!"

"What, _these?"_

She gave them another little shift. Damn things were almost hypnotic.

"Maaaa…I wasn't expecting this kind of trouble."

I looked to my side in surprise. The strangest looking captain had appeared to my left. Leaning against the wall wearing a straw hat and a pink robe with floral patterns, he looked completely unconcerned by the competition.

"Kyouraku-taichou!"

A young girl rushed forward to glare at him.

"I need this assignment to help me qualify for the vice-captain's position!"

"NO WAY! I'm going to be Ukitake-dono's vice-captain!"

A man in the back of the mass was hopping up and down to make himself seen.

"Shut up! You caught me filling out the form and just copied me like you always do!"

"No, I filled it out first!"

"Liar!"

The two quickly forgot about the captain and began a rather impressive shouting match.

"Hey, umm…Kyouraku-taichou, was it? Do you know what's going on?"

"Nope. I'd just heard you had a place set up from shinigami who were in the mortal world, and I figured, since I hadn't been here for such a long time…"

"That's crap!" Someone began shouting from the back. "You just wanted to get drunk without your vice-captain yelling at you for skipping paperwork!"

He looked almost hurt, hanging his head low.

"That's not true! I was just feeling nostalgic, that's all!"

The shinigami quickly began to…squabble. That was the only word for it.

_Oh dear Kami, this **cannot **end well…_

Suddenly, mercifully, a quiet beeping was heard through the mass of voices, and the shinigami present all stopped and reached into pockets and pouches, pulling out…cell phones?

It took every ounce of self-control I had not to laugh at the sight. Some things never change, I guess.

"Hollow." One shinigami said aloud.

"OK! NEW PLAN!" Everyone turned back to look at me. "The one who bags that hollow-"

Half of them, the quick-witted half, were already gone.

"-gets to stay here!"

The other half was quickly on their way. Ugly was dead last, left gaping at the now-empty space around him before yelling in frustration and shunpo-ing away. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back inside. That was the end of…

"Wait…better make sure."

I grabbed some paper and scrawled out a quick note, sticking it to the door as I left, and tossing a few things into the garage as I hopped on my motorcycle. **This **ought to thin the herd somewhat.


	7. act 3, scene 2

The hollow loped along, sniffing the air, trying to locate the tasty scent that had drawn it to this world, when a strange mess of sounds drew it's attention upwards.

"O lord-"

"Grow-"

"Flutter of wings-"

"Crush them-"

"Steel wheels-"

"Growl-"

"Destructive art nu-"

The hollow let out a tiny mew before the shapes launched themselves forward simultaneously. The resulting shockwave shattered every window in a five-block radius and had people running for nearby doorways.

* * *

"Wha-!" 

Did the building just…shake? I looked around. Several other people had seemed to notice it as well, staring at each other nervously. There weren't any fire alarms sounding, or any more of whatever it was, so after a moment, I returned to my shopping.

* * *

"Good morning, Ukitake-taichou, Zaraki-taichou." 

"Good morning, Aizen-taichou."

"I couldn't help but notice the look on your face, coming out of first squad headquarters. Is there something amiss?"

"Keh."

Zaraki pushed himself past Aizen, not bothering to look back as he spoke.

"Jus' some shinigami being stupid."

Aizen tilted his head at the remark, looking to Ukitake for clarification.

"Several shinigami suddenly traveled to a single city in the mortal world. We're not sure why."

"How strange…"

Ukitake bent over coughing, and waved goodbye as he hurried off fumbling with something in his pocket. Aizen nodded as he passed and continued on his way, the edges of his lips turning upwards.

"Let's hope they stay out of trouble…"

* * *

The mass of grumpy, arguing shinigami bounced from rooftop to rooftop, no clear winner among them. 

"How ridiculous…"

Ikkaku rubbed his head as he walked up to the door. He was about to ring the doorbell when a piece of paper caught his eye, taped to the mailbox. Out of curiosity, he picked it up, and then jumped in surprise as several shinigami began breathing down his neck, looking at the paper over his shoulders.

"What's that?"

"Hey!"

A second squad member neatly pulled the paper out of his hands and danced away, holding the note up to read it aloud.

"Remember, after grocery shopping, clean garage. No more putting it off."

The assembled shinigami stared at each other. Then they turned to look at the garage. Then back to staring at each other.

* * *

"You! Grab that side!" 

"Shut up, Matsumoto!"

"Hey now, we're trying to supervise here!"

Kyouraku-taichou and Matsumoto-fukataichou shared a grin and a bottle of sake, relaxing in some patio furniture and directing the work effort while the rest of the shinigami toted, hauled, and grunted. The work was mercifully interrupted by more beeping, and the assembled shinigami groaned and stretched as they pulled out the communicators.

"Just a little one. No big-"

A second beeping started up. Followed by a third, and a fourth. The next second, the screen was saturated with dozens of dots.

"Holy…"

"O-K!"

Ikkaku jumped up onto the roof and pulled his blade out, waving it above his head.

"New plan!"

And then he was off. The rest of the shinigami quickly dropped what they were doing and followed.

* * *

The feeling of a hollow's reiatsu reached me, but it quickly disappeared. And what was that sound? I quickly turned as the feeling reappeared, much closer. It vanished as well, and just as quickly. 

"THREE!"

"Huh?"

A trio of shinigami I couldn't name ran past, whooping and laughing.

"The hell?"

Some more hollows must have appeared, I guess. I waited a few moments more for the light to turn green before continuing on home. No one was there, and the work in the garage was at least half-finished. I just finished putting away the groceries before another wave of reiatsu rolled past, a mix of shinigami and hollow, followed quickly by the sounds of battle.

Dashing outside, I could see at least five shinigami scrambling to defend themselves against no less than twenty hollows. I flash-stepped onto a nearby roof, landing softly and pointing at the nearest hollow. It screamed as the beam hit the small of it's back, and as it turned, a shinigami took the opening and beheaded it. The shinigami landed beside me and turned back towards the melee, chanting hurriedly and picking two hollows out of the air with a bolt of lightning before leaping back into the fray. It was all I could do to just distract the hollows, as they were noticeably larger and more powerful then what I've faced before.

By the time the battle was over, two of the shinigami were seriously wounded. One shinigami began yelling into his phone before he simply stopped and stared at it, giving it a shake and asking the man next to him for his phone.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't contact Soul Society…It's like the hollows' reiatsu is messing with my equipment. I can't call for support."

"Support? But you've got a captain here and a bunch of vice-captains and third-seats! What do you need support for?"

"This."

He showed me the screen. There were more dots then screen showing.

"Damn, that's…huh? What are they doing?"

"What do you…"

As we watched, the dots began to converge at a single point on the screen.

"Do they do that a lot?"

"No. Only to…oh SHIT! You two, help the wounded, the rest, follow me!"

"Here!"

I tossed my house keys to one of the men and joined the second group.

"Hey, you can't-"

I was already on my way, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, following the strange shift in the reiatsu that now blanketed the city.

* * *

Closer now, the reiatsu seemed to tug at me. Not oppressive like the reiatsu of an angry shinigami, it was like a vacuum, cold and sharp, trying to suck the energy right out of my body. I stumbled just as I jumped, the field I created to carry me shattering and falling away, and I felt the familiar tug of gravity, my gut twisting as I saw hard, unforgiving concrete far beneath me. 

"Hey now…that's a nice effort, but you really shouldn't go any farther."

To my side, falling along with me, the captain in the straw hat was grinning at me. I returned the grin with a wide-eyed expression of gratitude and stretched an arm out. He raised an eyebrow and stared at me, puzzled. I shook my arm frantically and took another look at the ground, which was approaching quite rapidly.

"Oh!"

A moment later, I was back on the nice, solid rooftop.

"Stay here."

"Why? What's going to-"

A monstrous, ugly feeling. Cold. Hungry. The scent of rot and death. I screamed as the skin on my arms began to peel away, the muscles underneath blackened and charred, the smell of it-

Gone. A hand on my shoulder.

"Concentrate. Focus your energy and protect yourself."

I did, and when the hand was removed, the cold aura returned, but my body was intact.

"It was…all in my head?"

"Yeah."

"What…what is…"

"Relax! I'll handle this, won't take a moment. Just sit down, take a breath, and you'll be fine. Now…"

He stepped right to the edge of the building, unsheathing two swords in one smooth motion. He began a low chant, and past him, I could see a huge mass taking form, easily dwarfing the nearby buildings. Kyouraku-taichou's blades grew, growing and changing form. He leapt just as a plume of while erupted from the top of the mass, forming a mask.

"That's…that thing…is a **_hollow?_**"

"Gillian."

I looked behind me to see a group of shinigami looking on, the one who spoke pointing forward.

"Don't blink. You're not gonna get another chance to see this."

I turned back around, and I watched as a silver line raced towards and **up **the massive hollow, circling and criss-crossing it's body, two bright crescents gouging huge chunks out of the hollows' form. It roared and flailed clumsily at the point of light dancing across his body, trying to swat the captain away. He avoided the slow strikes easily and continued upwards to the Gillian's neck, moving so fast it looked like a noose was tightening around the thing's neck. The light intensified for a moment, and without pomp or ceremony, the gillian's head separated from it's body and crashed to the ground. After a moment, the entire thing dissolved, gone, as if it never was.

"Whew!"

The captain alighted back on the building's ledge, swords sheathed. He took his hat off and dusted it casually before replacing it and adjusting his haori.

"I could use a drink. You?"

* * *

With the Gillian thing gone, medics were quickly called in to take care of the wounded. Miraculously, no one had been killed (relatively speaking) and my basement was quickly taken over by fourth squad, converting the rooms into a makeshift hospital. 

Outside, I passed around what sake I had to the exhausted shinigami, sharing a toast with them to Kyouraku-taichou, who seemed to be actually blushing at the attention.

"Mahh…my only regret is that my kawaii Nanao-chan isn't here to share a drink with meEEE!"

His voice rose suddenly and his head tilted as a girl appeared next to him, twisting one of his ears.

"What do you mean by **my **Nanao-**san?**"

"My vice-captain, of course! What did you think I was implying? You wound me."

"No. Not **yet**…"

She released his ear and adjusted her glasses, taking in the scene.

"But my dear Nanao-chan, what are you doing here? Perhaps, you wanted to join me?"

"Hardly. We came to find out why you had all come here."

"We?"

A surge of reiatsu announced the arrival of another captain, a woman with two long braids and a downright scary look in her eyes. The men from second squad scrambled to their feet and saluted, freezing in place as she glared at each in turn.

"Soi-fon-taichou too? Then…"

Matsumoto leapt in fright as someone appeared behind her. Another captain, this one looking even younger than me, with spiky white hair and a long blade strapped across his back.

"Hitsugaya-taichou…what a surprise!"

"**Matsumoto…**"

She backed away, looking for an escape route. Another man, this one's arrival catching the notice of the rest, stepped into the backyard and looked out over the group before focusing on me. Shifting, I saw the new vice-captain and the other two captains were also staring at me.

"Err…sake?"

* * *

Yamamoto, flanked by the captains of the Gotei-13, flipped through the two reports in front of him while the shinigami who had gone to the living world sat at the opposite end of the room, sweating profusely. 

"So…If I am to understand this correctly, there is a human who has made his home available to visiting shinigami, turning an otherwise tedious assignment into what is essentially…a paid vacation."

He looked up towards the assembled group, who all nodded simultaneously.

"And due to this information leaking out, an error which Aizen-taichou has already admitted to…twenty-three shinigami, including a captain and two vice-captains, traveled to the mortal world, and finding they were not alone in their desire, decided to engage in a hollow-hunting competition to see who would be allowed to stay. The result being serious property damage in a populated area, and drawing the attention of a swarm of hollows which proceeded to condense into a Gillian. A Gillian that seemed to suppress the workings of our communication system and even prevented us from opening a portal to the mortal world in its vicinity."

Another chorus of nods.

"After which, you all returned to his house…" He turned one last page. "And had some sake. Correct?"

Heads bobbed, and remained low.

"I see."

With a shake of his head, he rose and dismissed the captains present, all but Unohana-taichou.

"Everyone, please come with me."

They looked up at the sound of her voice, puzzled, but followed her outside. There was a group from fourth squad waiting, wearing some very unnerving grins.

"My fourth squad has been terribly overworked lately, and has been in need of a…paid vacation."

One of the men stepped forward, pushing a cart carrying mops, buckets, and assorting cleaning tools.

"My thanks, for volunteering to fill in their positions while they are away. I understand from the report that you all have more than sufficient experience in such matters."

She bowed low, and though it was contrary to her nature, tried her best to ignore the cries of anguish of suffering that followed as aprons and hairnets were handed out.


	8. Filler arc

Think of this as filler until i find the right way to end the story.

* * *

I love fourth squad. Really. They rock, but in a quiet, mellow sorta way.

They aren't on a 24/7 drinking binge. They're always polite and respectful. I haven't heard a single raised voice since they got here. And the girls are all Nemu-quiet-hot, which is great. But the best part, the **best part** is their healing techniques. I hurt my wrist training, and they fixed it right up. They showed me how to do it too, so the next time I shunpo myself into something that won't give up the right of way, it's cool, cause I can just go OOM in a deep Buddha voice and I'm good to go in a few seconds.

Kickass.

And I promised myself I wouldn't cry when they finally left…

* * *

The day after they leave, a dozen academy…I'm sorry, that's just too weird. Death-gods-in-training? Reaping 101? WHUPASS05 Advanced demon magic? C'mon! Anyways, they're being lead by these two guys: one with sixty-nine tattooed on his **face, **and the other looks like a freaking yakuza, always walking around with one hand in his robes.

They sit me down and tell me that Soul Society has now decided to use my home as a base of sorts when students are sent live-side for training. They give Aizen's wards a once-over before setting themselves up in the basement, and I can hear the kids flailing around like any other bunch would on a field trip.

Both are lieutenants, and they do what they can to keep the nitwits in line and away from my stuff. But apparently, they've all been dead for at least a century so I got to see a great rendition of 'cavemen discover fire' when I wandered downstairs one night to find they've all discovered the joy of late-late-night TV.

* * *

"Oi. Got a second?"

"Sure."

It's Iba-san, wearing his sunglasses inside the house, and he's got that damned hand inside his robe still. If he weren't so relaxed, I'd think he was about to flip out and gut me for the sake of honor or something.

"You got a message from Seireitei."

He unraveled a scroll that was ancient in design, pulling himself up straight and clearing his throat.

"This is a request from the living world relations department blah blah blah…kindly assist us in…ah, basically, they want you to put together something telling shinigami how to act around people nowadays."

"…But you're _invisible._"

"Ah! Not with one of these, we're not."

He disappeared for a moment, and reappears carrying a body over his shoulder. When he dropped it on the floor, I could see that it looked exactly like him. With a crackle of reiatsu he sank into it, and it/he stood up.

"This is a _gigai._ We use it when we need to interact with the living. It was…hey!"

"Sorry."

I give it one last poke before stepping back. I grabbed one of my father's old suits for Iba-san to wear because the clothes the gigai came with were at least two centuries out of date. I left a spare key for Hisagi-san and stood with Iba-san outside, watching him fiddle with his collar.

"So, where to start…"

* * *

Iba's idea of studying culture was looking for the nearest gambling hall - in the worst part of town.

"I'mgonnadiegonnadiegonnadie…"

I ducked as another bottle went flying overheard, followed by the man who threw it.

"What are those guys talking about…things haven't changed at all!"

Turns out, Iba was a serious drinker, a great gambler, and even better at starting fights. Bastard… By the time the police got there, we were slipping out the back with a pack full of yen, some of it won, most just grabbed in the confusion.

"HAHAHAHA! Just like old times!"

"Will you WARN me before you do something like that?!?!"

He laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder, giving me a shake and sharing some sake with me as an apology. Thankfully, he was all business once he'd had his fun, and after we cleaned ourselves up we were soon wandering through the city. I gave Iba-san a rundown of how things generally worked these days, a miniature history lesson, introduced him to the newest technology and the basic minutiae of day-to-day life in modern japan. He took notes throughout it all, and when we got back, Hisagi-san caught us trying to sneak inside, quietly glaring at Iba-san.

"Iba. Have you seen the missive from Soul Society?"

"Oh yeah. I took care of it."

He handed his notes to Hisagi-san, who read them with one eyebrow raised and took a sniff in Iba-san's direction as he passed by.

"He didn't get into any trouble, did he?"

"Err…not really."

He sighed and shook his head, following Iba-san downstairs. The two left the next day and took the academy students with them, advising me that a new group would be along in a few days.

Now I know why 'may you live in interesting times' is considered a curse.


	9. Final act, part 1

Not two days later, there was another knock at the door. This time I was ready for it, sensing the morass of reiatsu coming from some distance away. It was another group of academy students, lead by a captain and his lieutenant.

And believe me when I say this, he was one _creepy bastard._

"Ooooh…this is a nice place ya' got here…"

"Thank you, for your hospitality."

The lieutenant was nowhere near as freaky as his captain. Granted, he did look somewhat like a squirrel going through nicotine withdrawal, but he seems all right. Wish I knew how he did it, cause I'm getting chills and twitchy just standing near the guy.

Damn freaky smile. I'm trying to get to sleep here, and I keep seeing the thing in my head.

* * *

Anyways, it's the standard routine. They go out, patrol the city, run a few drills, then camp out in my backyard and go over the day's lessons, but with a twist.

"Ano…Ichimaru-Taichou would like to invite you to today's lessons."

"He does?"

"I might as well…"

I jump when he leans around the corner, and it's that **damn smile again.**

"Cause 'yer gonna die."

"What?!"

"Eventually, 'ya know. Prob'ly wanna be a shinigami, yeah?"

"…Yeah…"

"Then there 'ya go! Wanna start training early, get the jump on things…just in case."

_Oh my FREAKING GOD…_

"Ok…"

The bastard _claps his hands, **spins, **_and then just walks away. Kira hangs back, motioning, ever so politely, for me to go first.

* * *

I'd swear he's staring at me throughout the whole lesson. He's like one of those damn paintings – wherever you go, the eyes seem to follow you. The whole bunch of us are just walking downtown, and I'm drawing a few looks with my armor on, padded leather and chain-mail coverings from hand to elbow and feet to knees. I got tired of bruised shins and punching hollows with my bare hands. Hopefully, I'll just look like a cosplayer with the other clothes I've got on, odd things I picked out that were still suitable for hollow-hunting.

The students are looking around in wonder, mostly at the porn and panty dispensers. Kira-san stops just long enough to prod them forwards before running back to his taichou's side, and every time he does, Ichimaru gives him this 'I missed you so much' look, and Kira-san smiles right back, happy as can be.

They're either in love, or…nah. Ichimaru definitely has to be molesting the poor guy.

* * *

"Oi! Look out now!"

Ichimaru's sword parts my hair as it stretches to an impossible length, skewing the two hollows in front of me.

"Ya' gotta be quicker then that-"

_The F-!_

"If you wanna stick 'round here…"

We're all in an abandoned factory, having 'stumbled' right into a nest of hollows. Kira's on one side leading the students in the fight, and Ichimaru and I are on the flanks trying to keep the students from getting surrounded.

I whip around and fire a scatter-shot, a dozen gleaming blades that pass over Ichimaru's head and messily carve into the hollows behind him. They fall backwards, a spray of blood coating Ichimaru in black slime from head to toe. He looks more surprised from the dousing then my response, and that damned, arrogant smirk is knocked just a _teensy _bit off kilter for a few moments.

I'm finally getting the hang of reiatsu-based combat, learning just the rights ways to focus it like _that _and to pierce that spot _there _where the hollow's reiatsu is shaky.

"Level up!"

When all is said and dead, I bounce over the disintegrating corpses to help the injured students, two seriously injured and I cram what I have left into what the fourth squad taught me. I'm exhausted after the second man to see them all leaning over me, and I have a truly demented smile all my own to greet Ichimaru when he steps over, trying to wipe bits of hollow off his coat and only making it worse in the process. I can feel a strange undercurrent in his reiatsu, and I half expect to get knocked on my ass by a wave of anger.

Instead, he's politely clapping students on the shoulders and complimenting or critiquing their performance, healing the other wounded and otherwise acting very captain-y.

But that undercurrent is still there; wrapped up tight, almost like a completely separate reiatsu hidden underneath the one he's showing. It dances beneath the surface when the wounded are being helped back home. It surges when I reach up and pick off a tuft of hollow hair from his uniform and a few students snicker at the sight of the messy captain. It smolders when I bid him goodnight with a grin to rival his.

Lying in bed, I can sense his reiatsu clearly, but not what I saw before – it's too subtle. That reiatsu he's projecting, that fake smile that cracked for just a moment, and an instant of an almost toxic sensation when I probe just a little too hard before carefully, and hopefully innocently, withdrawing my senses.

And something tells me…if I push any harder, I'm not going to like what I find.


	10. Final act, part 2

This is the setup. Next chapter brings it all together, and is the end of this story.

* * *

Ichimaru sat on the roof's edge, legs swinging back and forth as he watched the group march past him towards the gate to the mortal world.

"Oi! I forgot…was gonna thank that guy 'fer his hospitality…"

He waved to the man passing beneath him, and his smile stretched even wider.

"You be sure t' give 'im my regards, alright?"

The man didn't respond, his expression hardening a moment before stepping through the gate.

* * *

In, out. In, out. I pull the needle away and check my work. I'm stitching up a gash in one of my bracers, and I'm wondering why superheroes and the like never wear proper armor. God knows I've seen enough shinigami get hacked up by hollows with only those black outfits for protection. I've got to ask the next group I see about that.

I bolt the layer of chain mesh back onto the padding and slide it over my arm, flexing my fingers inside the heavy material. Perfect. Too back it isn't enchanted or anything like that. But I have my reiatsu, and maybe if I could put some into the material, super-harden it or something…

I tilt my head at a sudden kink in my neck, and the student next to me quickly looks back down at his own work. I turn my head to look around the room, and I can see a bunch of other students looking at me when they think they won't be noticed.

Thirty kids in my home economics class, and I'm the only one not making a stuffed bunny. Nope. I'm stretching chain-mail over bloody bandages from last night's fight.

Awkward.

* * *

I run into a hollow on the way home from school, and I hide my reiatsu from it, getting to within a few meters before it feels my presence. It half-turns towards me, mouth opening, but I already have a hand pointing at its forehead, and then walking on as if nothing odd was happening.

It's bizarre, almost surreal. Not the hollows though – it's the routine. I've completely gotten used to the whole idea. It's like I was hoping, or like I always knew something like this would happen. I did always love my anime, and I still do, cause I can get some good ideas from it. How to fight, how to use my reiatsu…I wander towards my house, and I know instantly that the students and that creepy captain are gone. That sixth sense comes so naturally now, I don't even have to think about using it anymore, it's just there.

If I live a long live, do I end up as an old man in the afterlife? Or do I hope I get skewered soon and arrive young and beautiful?

I guess it was my parent's death that made me think about the big questions in life. And now my new life is making me plan for my death.

I fall into bed, setting my alarm clock early, so I can spend a few minutes training tomorrow morning. If I take too much time, I can always shunpo myself to school.

* * *

Halfway through my math class, I can feel someone coming down the hall. It's Iba-san. And I don't know how I know, I just know. He knocks politely on the door, and when the teacher opens it, he gets a face full of Yakuza, and Iba just apologizes for the intrusion and steps inside with that one hand inside the business suit I gave him. The entire class squirms as the sunglasses scan the room, and the guy behind me starts to shake when Iba looks my way.

"Hey, bro. Can I talk to you for a second?"

I half get up before I look at the teacher questioningly, and he starts nodding so fast you'd think he's having a seizure. I follow Iba out with the entire class staring at me, and I start snickering the second the door closes behind me.

"Eh? Anyways. Higher-ups wanted me to ask you if you've felt anything weird around town."

"Weird how?"

"A ways back, you came across a hollow that Kurotsuchi-taichou was looking for, remember?"

"Like I could forget something like that. The bastard used me as bait for the damn thing. But Aizen-taichou killed it, right?"

"Yeah. But it looks like it had a friend. We've been sending out men to search, but all we have to show for it is five shinigami getting picked off by this thing."

"Shit."

"Yeah. You know how to hide your reiatsu?"

"Sort of."

"Well, keep it low, just in case. This thing appears at random and works so fast there's just a mess where a person used to be by the time we get there. We've stopped random patrols, but for some stupid reason, the guys in room 46 won't suspend training missions for academy students."

"**What?!** What are they thinking? They're going to get those kids butchered!"

Behind me in the classroom, my words carried through the door and made my classmates jump.

"That's what all the captains said. But those bureaucrats just gave some half-assed speech about showing strength and not suffering insults and lotsa high-worded crap that just means we're going to have to work five times as hard to make sure nothing bad happens."

I groaned. It was all I could do after that running through my head.

"So what about me? I just lay low and hope this thing doesn't come looking for me?"

"'Fraid so. Stay close to a seated officer when you can. _But…_I talked to my captain, and he agreed to lend you a little something, just in case."

"What is it?"

He gives some flippant salute as he turns to leave, calling to me over his shoulder.

"I'll show you when you get home!"

"Alright…"

I'm back in my classroom a minute later, textbook in hand, not really looking at it, but that's alright, 'cause everyone else is doing their best to pay attention to anything but me.

* * *

I'm at the door, key in hand, and I'm having a little trouble holding onto it because of the immense reiatsu that's so close to me. I finally manage to open the door, and I dump my stuff in the hall before bouncing downstairs.

Iba waves to me, and Hisagi bows slightly, pointing down the hall.** Two **captains, that's what's making my skin wriggle. One has dark skin and wearing the most mismatched collection of…err…clothes-bits? No idea. The other captain is freakin' HUGE, even kneeling he fills the room, with gloves covering his hands and a massive helmet over his head.

Hisagi-san appears next to me, bowing deeply, and I shake the reiatsu off my brain and remember my manners, bowing as well.

"Allow me to introduce my captain, Tousen Kaname, and the captain of 7th squad, Komamura Sajin."

"Pleased to meet you."

The reiatsu coming of off two captains combined is making it hard to breathe. I don't want to be anywhere near those two when they get going. It goes up a notch when Iba squeezes into the room past the milling students, holding something under his arm.

"Oi! Here you go, a little something…"

"Iba-san!"

Hisagi looks likes he's scolding Iba at his casual behavior, but I don't notice. All my attention is on the sword Iba is holding out towards me.

"A zanpakutou? F-for me?"

"Not exactly." Komamura shifts slightly, a deep voice sounding ominous from behind the massive mask. "A true zanpakutou is a manifestation of a shinigami's power and inner spirit. For those that do not have the power to manifest a blade of their own, these substitutes are forged for them to carry."

I nod, imitation or not, I'm still entranced by the gleam on the metal as I slide it out of it's sheath. It feels **good **in my hand, and I can feel my reiatsu flowing cleanly into it, strengthening it, the metal molding to my hand, and I almost feel like I've gained a new limb. I slide it back into it's sheath and Iba roughly ties a sash at my waist to hold it. I bow again, the new blade feeling like an old one, a weight on my waist that I've always carried.

"Thanks…err…"

_What do you say to something like this?_

"We will be holding a training exercise tomorrow evening." Tousen is looking me, and I feel his reiatsu flex outwards and around me. "I understand you've fought hollows before, but if you wish to join us, I would first see your capabilities."

"Of course."

_Better make it good…I might be working for one of these guys one day!_

I plant my feet and breath deeply, holding my arms out and parallel to the floor. I stir the energy inside me, warming it up, concentrating it. I turn my hands and press my palms together, forming the circle in my mind, pulling them apart and slamming them together. My reiatsu floods into the space between my hands, and a miniature sun ignites as I pull them apart, a blue-white sphere hissing and crackling between my hands. I count the seconds in my head, feeling my hands ache and concentration stretch under the dual strain of projecting the energy and containing it, and at eight seconds (my absolute best at full blast) I have to stop, my hands shrieking in protest as the energy rushes back into my body.

Iba-san starts snickering, and one corner of Hisagi's mouth has turned upwards.

"What?!"

He just starts laughing out loud, shaking his head and waving at me to calm down.

"You kids are all the same! Put 'em in front of a captain and they can barely move their fingers for the next couple days!"

"What? Wha…ohhhh**, crap.**"

"Don't worry…" That little bastard Hisagi is pinching his lips to keep from smiling. "I haven't seen a young shinigami yet who hasn't overdone it when they're asked for their first demonstration in front of their peers."

There's a rumble behind the mask that might be a chuckle when my shoulders slump, and I can't help but join in.

"Ok, ok…but honestly…how strong am I?"

"Quite sufficient. If you recover by tomorrow, you are free to accompany us."

That's all the dark-skinned death god says before turning his bodies a few degrees to a pile of papers next to him, and I take the cue to bow and leave, heading upstairs.

* * *

"Here…"

I feel embarrassed having Hisagi cradling my injured hands like this, lending that immense vice-captain talent towards healing my hands. It feels like my mom cleaning a scrape or something, but I can't help but be grateful.

"Thanks, I…I really made an idiot of myself, didn't I?"

"No, like I said, it happens to everyone…almost."

"Almost?"

He switches hands, and I flex my fingers slowly, a pain like bruised and burned rolled into one.

"Hitsugaya-Taichou. He's called a genius. Breezed through the academy at an unbelievable rate. Even developed his bankai in something like thirty years while most shinigami take a few centuries."

"Bankai? What's-"

"Oh no…don't get ahead of yourself."

He's openly smirking now, at some little shinigami secret. I listen quietly to the hum of reiatsu from his hands, but before he leaves, I have to ask.

"So, really…"

"Alright…honestly, you're unusually strong." He furrows his brow and stares at me, his aura reacting to his intent, reaching out and sinking into me. "Even with the training you've got from experienced shinigami, the equivalent of twice the normal academy training…I'd put you at maybe 10th officer level already…it's strange…"

"Is that good?"

"Huh? Y-yeah! You'll make a pretty good shinigami, once you get the right training, and maybe…some experience…"

"Sweet…"

"Anyways, get some sleep. Healing techniques are only a stopgap, no substitute for real rest."

"Yes sir mom!"

I salute, carefully, and crawl into bed. I can't wait for another round of proper training. Under two relatively normal captains, no less!

* * *

"Should he be that strong?"

Hisagi rested his head on his arms, staring at the ceiling; one futon among the many students sprawled out and already asleep.

"Even if he was naturally gifted…no...reiatsu just doesn't feel right somehow…"

He yawned and turned over. He'd ask his captain about it tomorrow.

Not twenty feet from Hisagi, another shinigami was thinking the exact same thing. But the human's unusual strength didn't matter. It wouldn't be a hinderance. If anything, it means he'd be more likely to come out of tomorrow intact.

Or perhaps, even complete.


	11. Finale

"In other words, one's own reiatsu acts as a form of armor. While a suit of physical armor may protect a shinigami from incidental wounds, there is no material that would be capable of any meaningful defense against any but the weakest of hollows."

"Oh. But wait…what about a zanpakutou? It's basically just super-condensed spirit particles, right? Can't you do the same to make a suit of armor like you do with other things?"

Two minutes into the discussion of other-worldly physics with Komamura-taichou, and I've completely forgotten that I'm in public, wearing armor, holding a sword at my waist that only I can see, and holding a meaningful conversation with a chunk of thin air. Behind me, Hisagi-fukataichou and Tousen-taichou are having a conversation of their own, staring at my back.

"You are correct. His growth is not natural. Most likely, he was exposed to a strong source of spiritual energy for a prolonged period of time."

"Then we need to find out what it was! He's so young…if he received that kind of power in such a short period of time…"

"Then such unfocused power is a danger to himself and everyone around him. Hollow activity has been increasing in this area recently, and I believe we now know the reason."

Up ahead of them, Komamura was tapping a finger on his leg, thinking about my latest question.

"I will speak to him after the patrol is complete. Concentrate on your task."

"Yes, taichou!"

* * *

A short while later, the group had arrived at an old factory complex at the edge of town that hadn't seen use in years, and the shinigami began setting up the exercise. I watched the older students begin unpacking what looked like chibi-hollows and placing them around the area. 

"Hisagi-san, are you alright?"

"W-What? I'm fine, why?"

"Just the look on your face."

"Ahh…it's nothing. Take a seat with the other students, it'll be starting soon. …I'm going to double-check with the barrier team…"

He turns and disappears in a flash, and I take my place among the junior shinigami, holding my sword nervously, waiting for whatever it is to begin.

* * *

"-_Shakkaho!"_

A blast of red light destroys the target crawling across the wall, and the student who fired the shot whoops with joy and dashes forward, only to have another drone-hollow drop onto him from the shadows among the ceiling. It sprays red paint over his back, and one of the examiners watching from above makes a note of the board he's holding.

"Awww!"

His team laughs as he tries to throw the weight off his back, one of them spearing the drone and tossing the remains away.

Outside, I'm trading blows with a much larger version. It has some serious muscle but the brains of a wind-up toy, and a tight shunpo dash brings me behind and above it. The head severs cleanly, bouncing away, and I close my eyes, searching for the next target.

Further away, the two captains and their lieutenants are watching their own teams, marking down everything from swordsmanship to demon art skill, even psychological notes.

The largest golem I've seen turns the corner in front of me, easily twenty feet tall. It charges forward, making the ground shake beneath my feet. I shunpo straight into the thing's face and slide my katana into it's neck, through the gap in the armor plates. I twist the blade and shunpo once again, spinning myself like a top. My head spins, but when I can stand up straight again the pieces of it are lying in a pile, limbs and torso neatly diced and ready to serve with your choice of sauce.

I wonder what my profile reads like…

* * *

An hour later, and I stagger back to the main group, grinning madly, the examiners picking up the leftover bits of the training robots. It takes them a while. I take the time to flop onto some grass and catch my breath, the students around me chatting excitedly with each other. A few minutes after that and the captains are calling everyone back together, students forming ranks, and I take a spot for myself, in line but apart from the main group, drawing a few stares. The officers and examiners are standing to one side, waiting as the captains give a few words to the assembled students. 

When that's finished, Tousen-taichou nods to Hisagi-fukataichou, who taps an earpiece he's wearing, speaking into it, and I can feel the barrier around the training area vanish. With a word, the students stand and the whole group begins the walk home.

We don't make it two steps before the air grows cold.

Hisagi grabs the radio he's wearing and his face goes white. I'm twenty feet away from him and I can hear the screams through his receiver. The students have slowed slightly in confusion, a few of them noticing that something is wrong. The officers have their hands on their blades already. And precisely three seconds after this all happens, I see the first dark blob appear in the night sky above me, a dozen white faces peering out.

The temperature drops past freezing in an instant, and I turn at a scream to see a student disappearing over the top of a building, a clump of tentacles wrapped around him and carrying him away.

Time slows. There are cries of surprise, fear, the first syllables of yelled orders. More masks then can be counted appearing over the edges of the rooftops around us.

The tentacles are severed, and the spin carries me around, a foot smashing the mask to my left, a hand pointing out and immolating the reeling hollow.

Time speeds up again. The student crashes back to the ground. Words are formed. Blades drawn.

"Ikkaku, you bastard. I've always been such a nice guy. Never acted like this before…"

I'm trembling, but not with fear. Not this time.

"Why'd you have to go and show me…"

Angry, hungry screams erupt all around me, and there's another feeling, faint but malicious behind all the others that feels strangely familiar, somehow.

"How a fight to the death…"

Something gray and spindly is on my left. Another, red and sharp, is a blur coming up on my right. I twist and dodge by a hair's breadth, a sickle-arm severed and flying away. Riposte. The beat screams and dies twitching.

"Could be so much damn FUN!"

* * *

Blood, aching muscles, masks. That was all there was. The students were in a tight circle in an open field, fighting for their lives. 

Tear-streaked faces wide-eyed with fear held shaking swords at the outer edge, and those inside threw what magic they could at things flying above them.

The officers were on defense, keeping them safe.

Iba had released his zanpakutou, holding a barricade he'd made with the hollows he'd killed, shouting at the top of his lungs like a general from the feudal era, ready to give his life defending his lord's castle. Hisagi was a blur, back and forth, in and out, kicking hollows away from the students behind him, nothing, not claws or fangs or the slightest breeze from their attacks getting past him.

The captains were the offense.

Komamura-taichou was mangling huge swaths of hollows with a floating, giant-sized gauntlet that held a sword of massive size. Tousen-taichou was tearing hollows to pieces with a rain of blades and some kind of soundless pressure-wave.

Where was I?

Everywhere. Nowhere. I couldn't keep track. Some part of me kept the rest of me out of the captain's way, and focused on whatever was reaching for my life. Before I realized it, I was far from the fighting. Something inside me pulled away for a moment, and I realized how tired I was.

Everything hurt. I could barely feel that part of me that the shinigami had awakened, and I slumped to the ground covered in blood and dirt and kami-knows-what.

"No good, no good…"

Something dropped from a hole in the ceiling, adding to a pile of rubble in the darkness. A shape moved, and moonlight streamed in through a broken skylight.

That wasn't a pile of rubble.

It was a pile of corpses.

Bloodstained white uniforms. Students that had been too slow to escape.

"But perhaps…this one?"

It was that same voice. Same shape, too. It was a snakelike body that had two huge pincer-like claws, and a second set of human-sized arms. It unfurled itself, clinging to a beam as it lowered itself to the ground. I was past the point of fear, just a calm, detached feeling that made my first thought a wondering if one of the students had managed to hurt it.

The hollow's mask was broken, with one human eye peering out at me.

"Yes…powerful…good…do nicely…"

A gasp for air became a rough laugh and then a cough, and the hollow paused a moment, tilting his head in curiosity.

"That's…that'swhatthe…last one said."

"Oh oh oh?"

It shifted its body, slowing stretching out and slithering around me. A stone's throw away from me, and it's body nearly formed a complete circle, the head almost reaching it's own tail. It spoke again once I was completely surrounded by it.

"You know?"

"Yeah…he was weak."

"Student." The thing shrugged, a very human gesture. "Young. Impetuous."

"And you?"

"Strong."

The circle of flesh around me shrunk, and I took every breath, reached for every scrap of reiatsu I could, focused as deeply as I could for as long as I dared before I stood, slowly, bringing my sword up.

"Me too."

"Better…"

It dove forward, preceded by its reiatsu, that alone nearly knocking me out. The left pincer came first, and I dodged inward, towards the main body. It didn't seem to expect that, and the human eye widened twice, once in surprise as I willingly moved closer to him, and again in pain as one of the hollow's human hands lost it's fingers.

The entire body reared back, jumping away from me, looping itself around the machinery and walkways that crisscrossed the large structure.

"PAIN! PAIN PAIN PA-"

It broke off mid-word and stared down at me. The head tilted again, one way and the other, before turning completely upside-down, staring at me all the while.

"Good? Nice?"

I could have said something, but wit had escaped me at the moment, so I only stared as the creature came back down, babbling as it did.

"TOO good. TOO nice."

The mask suddenly shifted to one side, the edge of a human face appearing. The voice changed, becoming almost normal.

"So much held back. Instincts dulled. Desires denied. I can see it in your eyes."

The entire mass of the hollow's body was on the floor now, slowly moving towards me again.

"The entire life you have known cannot compare to this moment, in this place. Because here, away from the light, as I once did, you have realized that this is where you _belong._"

"You're wrong! I…"

The hollow merely shook it's head from side to side, the motion slipping the mask back over the human face, the voice and speech changing again.

"Save you."

The body shot forward, pincers out, jaws wide. I put what I could into a single flash-step, straight up, his forehead slamming into my legs and something cracked. I jammed my sword down but missed the mark, the back of the head not covered by the mask, the blade digging into his back and I held on as the hollow smashed against walls and rubble, trying to dislodge me. I held on. And then I was pressed flat against him as he shot upwards.

Anything that hadn't been broken before was shattered when he slammed me against the ceiling. Lift fought gravity, and I was held between them, floating in the air. Gravity pulled me down, and a part of me suddenly realized my sword was broken. Bastard. I liked that sword.

Halfway to the ground, his jaws closed around me.

"Free you."

Bristling with blades and needles, his human hand pierced my back, clawing, digging, tearing, reaching for something. It found it, grabbed it. Twisted and began to change it.

I think I was screaming.

Something began to spread through me, and the pain lessened. The fear was gone as well. And in a single moment of clarity, I realized that I had one arm free, and it still held what was left of the zanpakutou Iba-san had given me.

The motions of it's hand inside me slowed, became careful, deliberate, and the hollow's human eye looked down at me softly, an almost caring expression.

Just in time to see the expression of joy on _my _face before the tip of the broken blade dove in, disappearing into his skull, followed by hand, hilt and forearm.

* * *

Tousen-taichou stood above what was left of me. My sword arm was gone, torn out in the hollow's death-throes. Not much left of my legs, either. And everything else inside me somehow felt _wrong_. He pulled something from his belt and smeared it on the butt of his zanpakutou before pressing it to my forehead.

* * *

"Taichou!" 

Hisagi ran up to his captain as he emerged from the ruin, and Tousen didn't stop at the call, continuing on towards the small army of reinforcements and support personnel that had arrived.

"Did you find…"

Hisagi saw the blood on his taichou's sword, smeared over the Kanji for 'Soul Society.'

"You will see him again. For now, tend to your duties."

"Sir!"

Hisagi dashed off, and Tousen didn't look back. Wouldn't. Kept his gaze forward, to what he sought, couldn't hesitate, couldn't regret.

Not when what he did was ultimately for the sake of justice.

* * *

In torn and tattered clothes, the figure skipped down the street. In his wake, men were laughing and a few children being scolded, advised not to repeat the bad words that the man had begun screaming over and over again at the top of his lungs the second he had materialized in the village. 

But a little joyful profanity is understandable when you've just found out, that yes, praise be, there IS an afterlife and it wasn't all in your head like you might have worried.

Nope.

The grass was warm beneath his feet, the sword at his waist heavy and _real, _feeling the wind brush over the metal as clearly as he felt it on his face. It was a part of him, after all.

And in no time at all, he stood before the gates of Seireitei, the massive gatekeeper a little put off when the stranger didn't react in the slightest to his size or sudden appearance. Only bowed and greeted him as politely as possible.

"What?"

"Teranaga Hikaru. I wish to become a shinigami."

I waited as patiently as I could while hoops were brought out for me to jump through. Dammit, I thought this was supposed to be heaven! Why the HELL is there paperwork in heaven?

Ugh.

First thing I'm doing is grabbing myself some food. Lots of it. Can this take any longer to do? I had some food on the way, but I guess it wasn't enough.

I'm starving.

* * *

It's done! There may be a sequal, if i feel like it.

Btw...This was originally (the first chapter) a self-insert. But SI's rarely turn out well, so I made him into an OC. But I held off giving him a name, cause hey! Not like I was hijacking the canon story, nothing wrong with daydreaming, right? So he was somewhere inbetween.

But if it was a self-insert, then...I would be basically writing about my own death.

Yeah. That felt too weird. So I gave him a name.


End file.
